Welcome to Namambe Kilian. It is a great pleasure to have you.
This interview is divided into two parts. Part I (deals with fitness while Part II will focus on relationships)

Part I:

Please tell us about yourself?

Kilian Gates Wombulu is a young and simple man who loves sports and exercises.
I was born at Okapuku village in Ombalantu. I was adopted for few years at Omufitu Wanauyala village and later moved back to my parents’ house at Onambelela village. I attended my Primary School at Anamulenge Primary School and then went to Okavu Combined School which has now been renamed John Alphons Pandeni Combined School. I did my Grade 10 at Canisianum Junior Secondary School. In 2002 I finished my GR 12 at Negumbo Secondary School. In 2008, I got my diploma in secondary education from Mutare Teachers’ College in Zimbabwe. I am currently a Mathematics teacher at Outjo Secondary School in Kunene region.

BBBeing a sports lover what makes your perfect breakfast?

Kilian: I don’t take breakfast… neither do I drink tea or coffee

That’s weird because many people were made to believe that a person can only concentrate
well at work if he or she had a good breakfast.

Kilian: That’s a myth.

In your view what causes fat belly and what should be done to prevent or address it?
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Kilian: Fat bellies normally come as a result of bad diet. With this I mean eating food that contributed to fast development and building up of fat. This food could be fatty and/or sugary food. Another cause of fat belly is when people burn less calorie then what they have consumed. If you have high input and low output, the body has no other use for the remaining unused calories but to turn it into fat which will be stored for future use. So the bad practice is, we never give the body a chance to use up this fat and this will lead to fat accumulation.
Another factor is, our training intensity doesn’t match the calories intake and this is like taking one step up and two steps down. The bottom line is, it’s useless to do workout while eating wrong food (bad diet). We really need to cut sugar in our food. Most of what we call tasty food today are full of sugar and this is not good for our health in general.

Let’s talk about discipline and time management when it comes to workout. Many people find it difficult to manage their times and ended up ignoring their own schedules. What are your opinions on this?

Kilian: Discipline is very important in fitness world. You can achieve nothing if you have no discipline. Discipline in the fitness world is the ability to learn what should be done and what should not be done for instance which types of food and drinks one needs to avoid completely. Moreover, one needs to have a commitment on his or her diet and training schedules without skipping or defaulting. All these boils down to discipline.

With regard to time management, many of us have a lot on our plates every day and this makes it difficult for us to find time for our workouts or at the end of the day one is already exhausted and can’t think of adding more to that.
In this case people need to come up with a schedule that works for them. In my case, I train every weekday from 4H30 to 5H30 in the morning before I go to work. I live with my 3 year daughter but I can still manage to prepare myself and her in the morning after my workouts.

However, some people find it ideal to workout from 17h00 after work, but this did not work for me very well as I always wake up feeling tired in the morning. The morning sessions works wonders for me as I have the whole day to shake of the tiredness.

Do you eat and drink whatever comes to the table?

Kilian: Food is needed for energy and body building but food also happens to be the destroyer of our physiques. I don’t eat everything that comes to the table. I pick my food in the shops based on sugar content on the labels. Too much sugar is not good, so I avoid those ones. I also trim off fat from my red meat. I also remove the skin from my chicken meat. The only time I eat fat is when eating Kapana which I only happen to eat once in a while when I am in Windhoek.

How many hours do you train per week?

Kilian: My training is only done on week days (Mon-Fri). I can also do it on weekends but only when I am traveling just to make up for the missed day/s. My training lasts for a minimum of 45min to 1 hour maximum.

What type of training do you do?
Weight lifting dominates my training since I have a small gym I set up at home. Mostly bench press, squats, chin-ups, press ups, deadlifts, curls and cycling for my cardio.

Do you normally go for a massage after training?

Kilian: LOL, I wish I could, but even if I had the offer, I’d rather let the body do the recovery just on its own. Plus I’ve never been massaged before and I am scared to be done on me.

In the following photo I see you meditating, is there a link between meditation and physical exercise?

Kilian: Meditation is a serious topic and I’ve been exploring it recently, but I am yet to master it. In simple terms, it is good for the mind and what is good for the mind is good for the body. Stress is one of the factors that minimizes the growth of muscles, plus it leads to formation of fat within some group of people. And that is when meditation comes in. Meditation helps to stabilize the state of mind and this helps in reduction of stress level. But physical training alone can achieve good physique without meditation. It is not like it is a must to combine the two.

Section B: Relationships
Many of your followers on Facebook like what you are doing and commend you for that.
“On relationship all what Killian use to say is very true and educational. I will ask him whenever I get some obstacles. Truly he must continue with his good inspiration. I know that nobody is perfect, but he is always trying his best.” Kanyangela John

It is frightening these days to read stories of domestic violence some are a result of people who simply jilted their partners? What do you think is really happening in Namibia?

Kilian: A big thank you to my followers.
Our society has shifted from the society of doers to the society of talkers. We talk so much than we act. And this led us to saying more than we ought especially when one speaks while under the pressure of desire, fallacy etc. During this pressure, we make so many promises of which we are going to find difficult to uphold. We are quick to speak without making proper research. You see someone and you like him/her and you promise him/her the world before you even get to know them better. That is when jilting comes in when they start learning and discovering the true colour of the particular individuals. Moreover, we mostly have too much expectation of our potential partners. We expect them to be heaven and earth with all the best things but overlooking the fact that no good without the bad in it. As much as one can be good, they also have their shortfalls and weaknesses and if we don’t keep this in mind from the onset, we tend to jilt one another the moment these shortfalls start getting obvious.

One of your Facebook posts reads, “Matured men don’t revenge when rejected”. They’re so understanding. (7Dec 2016). Are you perhaps implying that there is a serious shortage of matured men in Namibia when it comes to relationships?

Kilian: It has become a common thing where rejected men insult women who have not given them what they wanted. And this is one thing that we can only get from immature men because a matured man can handle rejection very well knowing that in life you don’t get all you want. A matured man knows that just like men choose who to ask to go out with, it is the same thing with women- women can also choose who to let in and who to reject. From the incidents and complaints that I get, one can confidently conclude that, yes, we have a shortage of matured men in the country.

I watched your video clip in which urge both men and women to be mature when they do their private things with specific reference to an explicit video that was shared on the social media networks. In your view how should private photos or videos be handle whenever the relationship is broken up?

Kilian: I like repeating this saying that: “what happens in Vegas must remain in Vegas”.
This saying summed it up very well. Many people fail to respect privacy. If it wasn’t for privacy, this world will not be a better place to live. Many could have gone to join the ancestors already. Maturity is needed here by every man and woman to be able to differ and separate in a way that they still be able to keep whatever they shared during their good times close to their hearts regardless of whether the break-up was nice or nasty. The reason they shared those things privately is because these things were not meant for everyone and are not fit for public consumption. It was two people who were involved and it must remain as such. Relationship and bedroom affairs of stone age is different from the ones of modern technology. The bedroom affairs have taken many steps forwards and we cannot live limited to fear of sharing intimate moments via mobiles. All we need to do is to grow up and respect privacy. However, we need to be cautious with everyone in need of our nudes because not everyone comes with good intentions.

One day I saw a lady wearing a t-shirt written “Don’t text your Ex’, which somehow implies that one should not befriend his or her ex. In your view is there a need to establish animosity between people who were once in relationship?

Kilian: Normally this will depend on how badly the break-up was. I am aware that not all break-up were done in an amicably atmosphere but it is my hope that we avoid by all means to have bad break-ups as this will leave no room to get back together in a case you later realised that you shouldn’t have had separated. The animosity is not needed and for those who have break-up in an amicable fashion, I don’t see any reason why they should not communicate. Communication must be there if they have something to talk about but one important thing is to maintain the boundaries especially those that are now involved. Nevertheless one should be careful and avoid unnecessary contacts with his or her ex if such contact will be misinterpreted by the new partner or it will send a wrong signal. Avoid it if you have received early warnings. In some cases, the contact will be inevitable as there is a child between these two people. And in both scenario, maturity needs to prevail and respect of boundary needs to be maintained.

If one meets a person at school, work, sports field, music show, church, etc, and started a relationship, does it mean that person own that person if he or she says yes to his or her proposal?

Kilian: No one can own a person. Married or not married, you can’t own a person. If that person said yes to you, s/he has just accepted and agreed that you can, from there on share common interests and suffer together. It doesn’t mean that the person becomes your personal asset that you can do with all what you want to do. You must never temper with anyone’s freedom.

What do you think is the main reason why people go to the extent of killing their lovers in Namibia and what should be done to prevent that?

Kilian: This is a complex problem. It stems from a lot of factors.
The upbringing: if one grew up in an environment where violence was the order of the day, you should expect this person to hurt her his or her partner because of the influence.
Lack of parental love: kinds who grew up without the love of their parents tend to look for it elsewhere. Once they get it, they don’t want to lose it and they can do anything to keep it no matter the cost or consequences.

Culture: some men believe a woman is like a property and you can do anything you want with her. You can even stop her from leaving you even if the environment is no longer conducive for her. Hence they will kill when a woman refuses not to leave him or refuse to do what he wants her to do. This notion is outdated and now is time we learn that everyone has the freedom to bring a relationship to an end if doesn’t serve purpose anymore.

Money: spending money on someone to buy their loyalty and keep them grounded. Don’t spend on someone a significant amount if it will not go well with you once this person decides to end the relationship.

Emotional abuse: men are emotionally weak and women are emotionally strong. And women tend to abuse men emotionally. Something that goes unnoticed. Men tend to internalize these kind of abuses. And they will act like a balloon. A balloon has a limited capacity of holding air. Once they reach a point where it can’t any longer, it bursts. Similarly, men tend to burst once they ran out of space to hold the abuses. And I’d advise men to seek for help once this starts in their relationship before things get out of hand.
The causes are many and I can’t list them all down in one go.

What are the early signs that a relationship is about to expire?

Kilian: When every time you think you solved one problem and you reconciled, then another problem strikes again from nowhere. It’s time you throw in a towel. It can’t be fixed anymore.

Are there other signs of expiry date in addition to this one?

Kilian: There are many other signs of which I can give some here.
a) Sudden loss of contact between your partner and you
b) Loss of interest in love making.
c). Your partner starts comparing you to someone at his/her work or elsewhere.
d) Your partner always sees faults in all your doings.
e) Every little argument ends up in serious arguments.
f) Frequency of visits are reduced and so are the responsibilities.
These are few ones but not the only ones.

What are the signs of good relationship between lovers who are not yet married?

Kilian: Happiness is a sign of a good relationship. Any relationship that has a shortage of happiness is not a healthy relationship. Understanding, communication and ability to overcome problems are some of the strong signs of good relationship between unmarried couples.

Would you be available if you are invited to do a live presentation at Outapi where participants will have the opportunity to ask you questions?

Kilian: In namibia, unlike in other parts of the world, we have shortage of speakers who talk about these things. And only if we can have more speakers to talk to us on how we can overcome problems we normally face in our day today’s relationship, we can save many lives and relationships.
So, yes! I am available. And it will be great honour to start with my home town first just like the say goes, clean home first before the outside.

Do you have any other thing that you would like to share with us?
Kilian: I have a lot to share but surely I can’t fit it all here but let me just thank all the people who have been encouraging me through SMS and inboxes as well as those who been using my work to teach others a thing or two. I hope to continue inspiring and where I go wrong I am also human being who is open to advice. So when you see me around, invite me for a cup of water and chat. I learn a lot from stories that people shared with me. Lastly let me wish everyone a merry X-mas and prosperous new year. Let us all drive safely and consider other road users’ safety. Thank you!

Thank you very much for your time and perspectives on various issues that we have discussed. I hope our readers will learn a thing or two and hopefully we will meet again in the near future